Manhood & Domestic Abuse

Since when has manhood ever been defined as the ability to inflict violence and fear into the hearts and minds of women? Since when has the interpretation of Allah’s statement:

“…And live with them in kindness…” {4:19}

ever been that a man should cause his wife to cry and feel deserted?  Since when has it been acceptable in Islam that the powerful & strong should devour the rights of the weak and oppress them?  Sadly, today there are many men that this is what they are saying.  No, maybe this is not what their mouths are saying but, it is surely what their actions are saying.  These men (And I use the term “men” meaning gender, not in the true sense of the word) have taken it upon themselves to establish their manhood in their homes through the use of violent force.  They establish for themselves honor and respect in the home by threatening their women.  They beat them into submission, and walk around the house as a lion walks amongst its pride.  Yes…they feel proud and manly.  However, is this really manhood!? Is this really how marriage is supposed to be!?  But more important than all of that, will Allah be pleased with this type of behavior?  The answer is NO, NO, NO!!!  This is not manhood and it is surely not how a true Muslim should behave.  Honestly, these characteristics are signs of weakness and insecurity.  In my experience with dealing with men who behave like this, I have found that not one of them would ever challenge another man in this way.  They would not stand up and raise their voices or hands at another man.  Why? Because the reality is that they are cowards and that they prey on the weak.  This is in no way what we consider to be manhood in Islam.  

My dear beloved brothers, let us show our true manhood by implementing in our homes a lifestyle that is pleasing to Allah.  Let us implement the lifestyle that was shown to us by our beloved Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam).  Let us show our true manhood by us being examples for our children to follow.  Let us show our true manhood by having the courage to stand up for abused women, even when the abuser is our neighbor, relative, or even a close friend.  Allah says:

“Has the time not come for those who believe that their hearts become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has been revealed of the truth…” {57:16}

Has the time not come for us to show our women how much we care about them, there is no better time than now.  Has the time not come to show our women that we love, honor, & respect them, there is no better time than now.  Has the time not come for us to be true men… for ourselves, our families, our society, our nation, and most importantly for Allah. May Allah shower us all with his mercy and bless us all in our affairs.

Written By Abdullah Smith

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